The New Denver Egotist Essays – Parts & Pieces

By / February 7, 2008 /

Let us begin by saying we’re flattered, humbled and giddy that people would take the time to craft essays to get in on what we’ve got going here. Especially, considering everyone who wrote knew they wouldn’t be able to take credit for being a part of The Egotist.

We’ll never silence the naysayers, but the whole ordeal further reinforces the allure and importance of our continued anonymity – we are the voice of creativity in Denver, not the voice of any one individual. Without additional puffery, we present some sound bytes from the pieces we received. Needless to say, the decision of who to bring on was difficult, time consuming and entertaining. Enjoy.

1
Much of the work coming out of Denver often reminds me of my days in London… it’s as lukewarm as the beer I used to drink. Denver’s advertising can, and should, be better.

As for The Denver Egotist itself, I read it daily and would love the chance to kiss the ass of the creators. Failing that, by writing for TDE I will have the opportunity to give a little back to this captivating read that is part of my morning ritual.

Am I looking to be the next Bob Garfield? Nope. Am I the next David Abbott? Only in my dreams, which also have me looking like James Bond rather than the Gollum I actually resemble.

2
I was born in Philadelphia in the 70s, which means that I love hip-hop AND hair metal bands, and I occasionally go into withdrawals from the total lack of anything resembling a proper cheese steak.

Being unsure of precisely what it is you are looking for, I offer myself up on the golden alter of Denver Awesomeness. In the end, what I have to offer you is my heart on a big brown, oxygen-deprived cloud. I would rock your world in the ‘Cool Stuff’ department of Denver.

3
I’d be a kickass Denver Egotist because I’m from Canada. Not just Canada, but Toronto. That’s right… that city in the far north that you might have heard of. As with most things, sometimes it’s hard for our work to get noticed next door to the behemoth campaigns below the 49th parallel. Everyone needs a little extra worldview now and then.

4
As I proofread what I have written so far, just to make sure I don’t get axed from the running for some silly spelling or grammatical error, I get the feeling that even without a single mention of my name, a large percentage of people who read this will know exactly who I am. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

In closing, you might also consider my brevity a positive qualification for the duties in question, given the fact that my current word count is well under the 750 word limit. As an active member of the community, I know there is little time in the day to embrace the overly verbose.

So with that said, would I make a great Egotist? You tell me.

5
I’m scrappy. And I dare you to find out just how much so. I want to prove myself, and I’m proud of what I’ve done and what I’m capable of doing. A wise man once said, “If you can dodge wrenches, you can dodge balls.” I get that I need to get hit a couple of times to really get into the flow. I’m willing to take those hits. Throw me the hard stuff, and I’ll do my best to take it on.

6
Why would I make a good egotist? Fuck that, I AM an egotist. I’m THE egotist. The popularity of this site is built on a foundation consisting of three things. My desire to be informed, my compulsion to critique work / voice opinions, and an insatiable lust for justice. I am Anonymous Commenter. I am ego in action!

In conclusion, some say I ruin this board, usually after they are outed as being shit. But good creative and sound management should stand up in an environment of harsh opinions, criticism and scathing rumors. Feedback fuels progress. And brevity is the soul of wit – so I’m out.

7
So why me?

As I see it, The Egotist is not a democracy.
The Egotist is NOT under mob rule.
It is not a place for personal attacks.
It is not a pissing match.

The Egotist is a conversation.
One centered on raising the caliber of even the great work coming out of Colorado.
One where a solitary opinion can shape the thinking of everyone else.
I will proudly be a willing catalyst for these conversations.
I will not, however, be silent.

Please understand though,
Me taking issue with some part of an ad is not me hating you.
Me taking issue with some part of an ad in not me hating your agency.
Me taking issue with some part of an ad is simply me not liking some part of an ad.
And if I take issue with some part of an ad, I will say why.

We can all benefit from hearing the opinions of our peers, but only if it goes beyond glad-handing and atta-boys. Let’s share our thoughts and help one another be smarter.

8
The Denver Egotist: So, _____, what makes you such a worthy candidate for this position?

_____: In the simplest terms, I’m smart as hell, well-versed in design, a Denver native, and pretty fucking cool as well.

TDE: Can you elaborate on the meaning of being “smart as hell”?

_____: Yes. To me, being smart means being interested in everything. It’s great to be interested in advertising or design innovations, but it’s more fun and infinitely more intriguing to look at the inspiration that feeds those innovations. For example, have you ever spent much time thinking about deep-sea creatures? They’re ridiculously bizarre in both behavior and form, and they occupy the largest and most uncharted habitat on our planet. What is the point of trying to find life on other planets when there are living things like the Dumbo Octopus and the naked sea butterfly swimming around on Earth? Designers everywhere should be jealous of Nature or God or whomever created these oddly perfect beings.

“Smart” in this case also means I did well in school and have a pretty good grasp on the English language. I believe strongly in correctness and wit in writing. I have a decent vocabulary and a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style, but those ought to be a given for anyone who writes for an audience. My professional credentials are limited to some copywriting I’ve done for my employer (I’m employed as a designer) and a few housing developers. Oh, and there was that killer piece on the Senior Prom I did for my high school newspaper. Even further back, and as a testament to being secretive, I won the D.A.R.E. essay contest in fifth grade and declined to read it in front of the school; instead, I made the principal read it..

TDE: Thank you for your time, _____.

_____: Thank you as well. It was a pleasure meeting you. I hope to hear from you soon.

9
I’m the split personality that The Denver Egotist needs. Half writer, half designer. Half producer, half consumer. I’m a journalist, so I know what it means to message. But I’m also a skeptic. I live to peel away the surface layers—to find out what is at the heart of creative work in the Denver area. This is what The Denver Egotist does and does well. And I want in.

The Denver Egotist is a place for Denver’s best writers and designers to come together, to decide what works, to debate what doesn’t. But it should also be a place where Denver’s creative class comes up against a little push once in a while. Do more. Do it better.

I know Denver has more to offer than the mountains. Hell, I’ve been roaming inside city limits since I moved here. So let The Denver Egotist be a clearing house for the rest—for the glorious mess of the city’s creative work. Come here and think and vent and rethink. And then go do. The Denver Egotist will write about that, too.

10
I’m from the South. A place with tall Pecan trees, moss covered just about everything, great food, better drinks, opinionated folks, and an ever-present slowness that forces thoughtfulness. Thoughtfulness: care, attention, contemplation and consideration. Beyond being thoughtful, Southerners simply have things to say. Often polite discourse, but they talk, share, push, and ask questions.

When we put words on paper or online, we change lives, opinions, and provoke thoughts among people not normally engaged in real thinking. We can influence, which is powerful. Why does this matter? It matters because what we sprinkle among the masses is what begins to take hold, collects momentum and provokes thoughtfulness. I’d like to be part of the Egotist sprinkle.

Ya’ll keep on sprinkling.