• The Pitch Episode 4 – Popchips and Homer Simpson

    May 15th, 2012 / Comments (8)

    If you watched the debacle on Sunday night, you may wonder what the fuck Homer Simpson has to do with this. If you didn’t, you’re probably still curious.

    As I kiss goodbye to last week’s ill-fated attempt to be PG (fuck, shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits…making up for lost time) I am starting this one with a reference that I think is perfect. And I rarely think things are perfect, as you know.

    So, in an episode of The Simpsons, there’s a competition to make a short film. It’s the Springfield Film Festival. Barney Gumble, the town drunk, creates a searing and insightful look at his life as an alcoholic it’s called Pukahontas. It references Godfrey Reggio’s Koyaanisqati and uses music by Philip Glass. Nice.

    Hans Moleman plays his film next. He gets hit in the groin by a football. Homer thinks this is fucking hilarious, and he’s the judge.

    As he sums it up, he says, “Hmm...Barney's movie had heart, but ‘Football in the Groin’ had a football in the groin.”

    That is the whole process of every Pitch result to date this season. Just replace “football in the groin” with “pretty pictures” or “flashy graphics” and you get the idea.

    Now, in true Tarantino style, let me back up and give a brief recap of this week’s train wreck before I finish that thought.

    The two agencies this week were BooneOakley and Conversation. The former, you’ve all heard of. Or should have. Small shop, off the wall, they did the YouTube-based agency website that caught the attention of so many people. And doing self-promotion that good is hard. The other agency, who the fuck knows. Although they did say, “We keep our finger on the pulse, and we’re typically the first to utilize new forms of media at that point when they’re just right for a particular consumer segment.”

    So basically, they are the first to use new tech when it’s not that new any more. Quite a claim.

    This week’s stellar client was Popchips. The Popchips people delivered the brief, and that gave David Oakley the chance to really fucking brown-nose the client. Which worked, much to the chagrin of Frank “what happened to my personality” O’Brien. The brief was simple enough — raise awareness of Popchips using non-traditional media.

    Anyone else fucking sick of that? Why don’t they just come out and say, “we’d like to be hugely-successful without spending one red cent on media, thanks.”

    Once again, the agencies ran back to their prospective homes to start work. Although BooneOakley suffered an immediate setback when their strategic God, a former Nike wunderkind, developed some nasty gallbladder problem and was hospitalized.

    While BooneOakley delivered a very laid back brief, with David looking a bit like a deer in the headlights, Conversation’s O’Brien already had his “idea.”

    They were going to create the longest, biggest, viral video ever.

    Why? Because Popchips wanted something viral. Brilliant, right? Well, not really. Even the people reporting to O’Brien thought it sucked. So, they did it anyway. And that’s all they did. They came up with a fancy name for it — “The Year of Pop” — but it was all just reverse-engineering into a dumb idea. They programmed code. They spent hours and hours on videos and apps. They blew the shit out of it. Did it matter that the idea was weaker than the jokes on Big Bang Theory? Nope, because the client had asked for a viral video.

    BooneOakley definitely struggled. The absence of Greg the strategy god was evident, although it pissed me off to no end when some annoying tart said that creatives don’t think strategically. Speak for your own creatives, every shop I’ve ever worked in demanded strategic thinking. If you didn’t do it, you were out.

    Finally, after a lot of bizarre brainstorming ideas, they landed on “Make Life Pop” and everything started coming together. From thousands of balloons falling from the sky, filled with bags of Popchips, to a bubble-wrap race track and bags of chips flying off the shelves, they were turning the brand into something fun. Something that actually made life “pop.” And of course, these ideas had all the elements they needed to go viral, without actually saying “we’re viral, come and be in our viral video, it’s viral!”

    The Pitch was upon us, and the AMC editing staff did a grand job of fucking our expectations again. I actually said, out loud (to my wife, who was not really paying attention) “that’s it, BooneOakley did the best presentation, they’re going to lose.”

    We saw the Popchips clients smiling as the BooneOakley people rolled out the ideas. They really had grasped every element of the brand. It was fun, likeable and very easy to implement.

    Then it was Conversation’s turn. Their presentation had all the verve and energy of a dead llama. The technology fucked up. The videos were met with luke-warm smiles. The end result was less than thrilling.

    But before they left, the Conversation people said, and I paraphrase, “this is turnkey. We’ve built this whole thing! It’s ready to go. We did all the technical work for free, on our own time! You can say “hit the button” and you have an instant campaign that cost you fuck all!!!”

    It was like someone had hit the jackpot at a casino, and a ton of loose change was thumping against the metal.

    Naturally, BooneOakley lost. Of course they did. And why?

    Well, remember that Homer Simpson reference at the beginning? It’s all about what a client reacts to, and they do not react well to something with heart. They react to “footballs in the groin.” And for them, that meant they had a completed “viral” video ready to go. It took a greater leap to understand BooneOakley’s work, and it would take a long time to develop and execute.

    What they don’t take into account, and they never do, is that the general public does not do what advertisers say. They respond to it, but you have to reward them for their time. BooneOakley’s work would have gone viral, not because it asked you to make it viral, but because it was entertaining and disruptive.

    Conversation’s work was an order. “Come on, make this viral video go big.” And your reward? Well, you get to be in it. Wow. I, for one, won’t be getting involved. Fuck them, they can’t tell me what to do. I resent them for it, actually.

    You cannot force people to make something go viral. You have to set up the dominoes and hope they fall. If you do it well, the chain reaction will set it off. But if you are as transparent as Conversation’s shitty effort, you’ll stumble at the first hurdle.

    Oh, and AMC editors. Are you bribing the clients to pick the crappy work? Or are they all really this dumb? Great work needs great clients, and so far, the clients have been pond slime in suits and ties. Fucking annoying.

    Coming next week: another agency will get shat on when a bunch of smarmy fucks over-execute a lame idea and get blown by a clueless client.

    Felix is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. If he uses the f-bomb from time-to-time, forgive him. Sometimes, when you're ranting, no other word will do. In his spare time, he does not torture small animals. He's been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

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  • The Pitch Episode 3 – Are Things Actually Getting Better?

    May 9th, 2012 / Comments (12)

    Nope.

    Oh and, before I continue, I am going for a challenge on this one. After the silliness of the last rant — where people seemed more concerned with my use of profanity than the content of the piece — I am going PG on this. Not because I care what they think, I obviously don’t. But I am curious, can I do an arresting piece without dropping f-bombs and c-bombs and s-bombs and any other bombs that make people like le-sigh have a feminist meltdown?

    Time, and the comment stream, will tell.

    So, what were we treated to on Monday night? It was the turn of Clockwork Home Services (oh, these catchy names) to dangle their mighty carrot in front of two agencies — The Hive, and FKM.

    Clockwork, if you don’t already know, is the proud parent of Benjamin Franklin Plumbing, Mister Sparky, and One Hour Air Conditioning & Heating. Again, no comment on the names. Apart from the “no comment” comment — which clearly means I hate them with the same passion creatives hate the words "client feedback."

    The Clockwork people assembled our two sparring agencies in a grim location; the kind of place Dexter would assemble a kill room and stab someone through the heart. (He could have come in handy later on in this episode.)

    So, after explaining for an eternity the brand values and company mission of a bunch of electricians, plumbers and HVAC guys, the two agencies had a chance to ask questions.

    Scott Brown, metrosexual leader of FKM, looked shell-shocked. Could have been sly editing (let’s face it, it probably was), but he stumbled over his words like a rank amateur. It didn’t help, though, that The Hive’s Andy Krupski came barreling in like juggernaut from the X-Men. Throughout the episode, several times in fact, he stated that he hates to lose and that his agency is the best in the world.

    Time out for a second. Is it just me, or does the owner of every mediocre, mid-sized shop in America (and in this case, Canada) really believe that the stuff they’re churning out is better than the excellence we all know and love from agencies like W&K, TBWA, Goodby and the like? I mean, are they that disillusioned? Or are they all strutting, hoping that this self-belief will translate into more clients? I don’t know. But I really hate them for it.

    OK, after the briefing, the agencies once again shuffle back to their sad grief holes in their parts of the world. FKM, from Texas, assemble half the agency in a boardroom for the lowdown. And after giving out the creative brief, tell them that they are to work on this for the next 24 hours, straight, without sleep. They also had to hand over their cell phones!

    Scott Brown is now showing himself to be slightly more imbecilic than the whole cast of Jersey Shore. I mean, I can count on one penis the number of times I had a killer idea at 4.35am at the agency, hopped up on coffee and cold pizza and surrounded by equally shagged-out advertising wrecks.

    I wouldn’t need the whole penis either.

    The very notion that you can lock people away without any contact, and expect them to create bold, fresh ideas, is lunacy. It was at this point that I did not care what they came up with. I wanted them to fail — and fail hard. I wanted to see Scott Brown crying in the corner like a freshly raped pedophile in a maximum security prison. This would have been a good point for Dexter to appear, show him photos of the sad people around him, and put him out of our misery.

    But no. Thanks for nothing, Dex.

    Meanwhile, The Hive were throwing ideas around and decided to do the unthinkable. They would completely ignore the client’s specific request — to keep the three companies separate — and merge them into one new brand, Direct Energy.

    Personally, I love giving clients what they need, not what they ask for. But this was beyond risky, it was reckless. When you have a solid relationship with a client, and establish trust, you have a better foundation for this kind of behavior. Sticking your middle finger up at them this early on, that’s just asking for a slap. And a slap they got. No, no, no, no, no. Don't go there. Start again.

    This happened, by the way, during a “tissue” session. A moron whose name I can't recall, and don’t want to look up, remarked that tissue sessions got their name from the crying you do when the client rejects your idea.

    Wow.

    Maybe he was trying to make a joke, although if he was he had the delivery skills of Rain Man. No, this was actually what he thought. No idea, no clue, that “tissue” sessions got their name from the type of paper you’d sketch and draw on in one of these meetings. It was long before the days of computers and iPads — when creative teams would sketch out ideas on pads of cheap tissue paper. It was a way to get ideas down quickly, and inexpensively, so that the campaign could be developed (often with the client assisting).

    So yeah, what a dipsh…oops, almost slipped there.

    The ideas came thin and slowly for both sides. FKM had a genius idea about adding HELP to any service the Clockwork guys provide. They can help change a light bulb, water a plant, paint a fence, or get a kitty out of a tree.

    At this point, it’s not clear if lonely, frustrated housewives could get some help with their plumbing, but if you get 30 mins free, who knows. Now that could really be a rebranding exercise.

    The Hive, they had two ideas. One was a truck full of money, that people could win. And the other was a schmaltzy, saccharin campaign that could have run the day after September 11th. I threw up a bit when I saw it.

    That left me with two possible conclusions on the horizon. FKM would win — and I’d want to suck a tailpipe. Or, The Hive would win, and I’d want to suck a tailpipe.

    Murphy’s law.

    The pitches went the usual way. The Hive went first and the money truck sank like a truck filled with money. The idea about destroying a toilet with a bowling ball sealed the fate of that one, and that’s an idea that’s been done many times before. The sickly-sweet heroes atrocity got some traction, but remember, clients like these get excited by the latest Adam Sandler movies.

    FKM went next and the new “new biz” girl did the bulk of the pitch. She did OK. It didn’t hurt that she was easy on the eyes, although the female Clockwork client who ate her lipstick and got pulled through a hedge backwards, she clearly felt threatened by her.

    The HELP idea went down well. I thought it was too much of a leap and too far removed from what they do. But it had a hook, it was memorable, and ultimately I can’t fault the Clockwork dullards for choosing it. Neither side really impressed me and, as I sat chewing on what I had seen, I realized…I really didn’t care.

    It made me yearn for the first episode, when I was screaming at the screen. At least that had some energy to it. And worst of all, the FKM prison-like agency conditions were rewarded. Those poor saps, they’re about to get worked to death.

    There, that’s all she wrote. And not one fucking swearword, you goddamned cocksuckers.

    Felix is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. If he uses the f-bomb from time-to-time, forgive him. Sometimes, when you're ranting, no other word will do. In his spare time, he does not torture small animals. He's been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

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  • The Pitch, Episode 2: Complete and Utter Garbage

    May 7th, 2012 / Comments (26)

    “This is it guys…this is where we find out what it’s all about.”

    Within 30 seconds, I figured this was going to be a bigger pile of horseshit than the previous episode. I was not disappointed. Cliché after cliché. Homily after tired homily. It was like these guys swallowed the Big Book Of Advertising.

    Oh, it’s definitely “dog eat dog out there.” Isn’t it always fellas?

    And “we need big ideas.” As opposed to the small ones your whole team were planning on creating, right?

    Anyway, I know the producers edit this show with the goal of creating “good TV” not “real TV” so I take it all with a pinch of salt. But still, they said it. Christ.

    I think it was when Paul Cappelli, of The Ad Store, uttered the words “we are the most creative agency in the country, if not the world” that I lost the plot and had to contain my explosive laughter. I mean, really. Not W&K? Not Goodby? Nope, it’s The Ad Store.

    What have they done that made you go “fuck me, that’s shit hot!” recently? Or ever?

    Well, they were the ones responsible for the puerile GoDaddy.com wardrobe malfunction ads, which led to even more crass and pointless titfests. So there’s that. There’s nothing clever about tits. They do create a splash, but so would my knob if I whipped it out in a courtroom on Superbowl Sunday.

    Anyway, if The Ad Store was brazenly confident, SK+G were equally so, but with one major difference. The entire place is filled with egomaniacal bullshit artists. And they have two creative leads working on the same job. Clever.

    While The Ad Store went straight to work, the dipshits from SK+G started Googling their competition. WTF?!

    “Oh guys, we may have to bring our A game, these guys have done some shit.”

    Does anyone ever do anything less, unless they want to lose the pitch on purpose? For me, that was indicative of the type of agency SK+G clearly is – overworked, paranoid, lacking true confidence (not the strutting peacock dancing they did on cam) and a basic lack of understanding about pitching. You do your best work; fuck the competition. Even if you’re up against a one-man shop from Leesburg, Virginia, you better bring it.

    So, after all that crap, and some drama from the SK+G team involving arguments and microphones, the real work began.

    Once again, we were treated to some real pearls of advertising wisdom:

    “Be edgy. Viral. Avoid clichés.”

    Oh shit. Really? What about all those great clichés that have won pitches in the past, can’t we use them? And edgy, that’s a great idea! Fuck, edgy is as cool as Ice T’s balls!

    Even the camera crew started picking up on it, by showcasing close-ups of empty pizza boxes. The old “they are working really hard” cliché.

    Anyway, SK+G had some ideas. I use ideas loosely. They included:

    Pick It Up America

    Trash talk.

    Turn Waste Into WOW (the awful idea they end up going with, I shit you not).

    It was when some blonde vacuum threw out “Trashformers” that I knew we were in the presence of real genius. Bill Bernbach, eat your dead heart out.

    Incidentally, the WOW line came from someone I like to call “smug cunt.”

    Is that too harsh? Nah.

    He already had a face you wanted to kick with a nailed boot. Then he opened his fucking mouth. He’s everyone you’ve ever hated in your whole fucking life rolled into one miserable body.

    Yes, I hated Ray Johnson from the get-go.

    I tried to look him up on the SK+G website, but he’s not there. So either he quit, he’s too new for a profile, or he’s too annoying to take out in public. Either way, this guy is slime from the bottom of advertising’s reject pile. He actually made me like the other guy, Doug Hentges, which made me hate him even more.

    Over at The Ad Store, it was easy to see they were on a much better track. They had a communication strategy, not just a lame tagline with no legs. And after a lot of back and forth, the big idea was elegant – trash can. I liked it. It’s not exactly Just Do It, but it’s simple enough to catch on and, with the right execution, it could be great.

    But the bickering between Cappelli and his beaten-down AD was distracting, they were like some married couple.

    Then it turns out they are, almost, so that explains the bitch fits. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld would say, but that’s quite the dynamic. They say never screw the crew, but if it works for these guys, more power to them. Whatever. After late nights (and early mornings from SK+G…they do love being a sweat shop) the work was done and ready to present.

    Cappelli and The Ad Store went first. It was understated, in the same way that white is an understated version of black. I mean Paul, dude, pick up the energy a bit. He read the VO live to the spot they’d put together, and the small elements of guerrilla he had in the presentation were fine. But this was a bit lackluster to say the least. The Waste Management plebs seemed fine with it, apart from one matronly cow who chimed in “so what have you learned about us over this last week?” or something like that. Self-serving clients, they just love to hear about themselves.

    SK+G, their pitch was awful. The work, it was ok in places. They used “cutting-edge” snaptags to make posters come to life, but the message and execution stunk more than a yeast infection. Sadly, SK+G possess some snazzy graphics software and a lot of razzle-dazzle presentation tools to give their work some lift, despite the cruddy “WOW” idea.

    But it was the man behind that idea, smug cunt, who almost fucked everything up for them. He decided to talk over the main presenter whenever he could.

    Everyone I know was screaming “shut the fuck up” at the screen. He didn’t.

    At the end of the day, you know what happened. SK+G won, because they had pretty pictures, snazzy gimmicks and are willing to work 24/7 for Waste Management.

    The Ad Store, they had a better idea, and it could have gone places, but they just didn’t blow it out enough. Clients like Waste Management can’t image that shit, they need everything wrapped in a bow before they get it. And Cappelli should have known that.

    I’m not as irate as I was at the end of episode 1, but it still pisses me off. I suspect the work that wins these pitches will never be the work that I want to win.

    Maybe I should stick to watching the Joy of Painting instead.

    Felix is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. If he uses the f-bomb from time-to-time, forgive him. Sometimes, when you're ranting, no other word will do. In his spare time, he does not torture small animals. He's been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

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  • The Pitch – A Review By The Most Annoyed AdMan In The World

    April 17th, 2012 / Comments (48)

    I certainly can’t call myself the most interesting ad man in the world. But then again, neither could half of the “professionals” in the first episode of The Pitch, a new AMC show that delves inside the gritty world of advertising.

    Now, before I continue, there are more spoilers in this review than there are spineless wonders in the average account department. There’s just no way around it, folks. To say what has to be said, I have to reveal all.

    So if you haven’t seen it yet, don’t read this before you watch the episode below. (If you have seen it, and thought the outcome was well deserved, don’t read this either. Instead, go and work for a crappy client like Subway. You’ll like it better over there.)

    OK, so the premise of the show is simple enough. Take one big client, put two agencies on the pitch, and give them less than a week to come up with brilliance. (We’ll get to the “brilliance” in a moment.)

    The first episode of The Pitch pits two agencies against each other – McKinney, a mid-sized shop from North Carolina, and WDCW (formerly WongDoody) from Los Angeles. And the massive account they’re pitching for? Subway, the largest fast food chain in the world, with pockets deep enough to match.

    The task was one with plenty of meat: aim Subway’s new breakfasts at the 18-24 crowd.

    The rotund marketing director from the ‘bway said he wanted something that wasn’t SOS (Same Old Subway). Something big, bold, different, clever, original. You know, the usual manure clients spout before they crap all over your ideas and ask for SOS (Same Old Shit). The two agencies eagerly took notes before running back to the office to be inspired. Tricky, considering they took the brief from a bunch of lifeless corporate yawns in a room that would make an unfinished basement look glamorous.

    Now to be fair, the show is somewhat entertaining to anyone in our industry. It can’t help but be involving; we live and breathe this stuff. To others, it’s probably in the same zone as The Apprentice. They don’t really give a shit about the process, they just want to see a train wreck.

    Both WDCW and McKinney seem like typical agencies, filled with the usual mix of wannabe rock-star creatives, overdressed account execs, and the owners who jump in at the last minute to fuck things up.

    But watching the process, it was clear from the beginning that one agency knew exactly what they were doing, and the other one was flailing around in the deep end. McKinney were way out of their league here.

    After some laughable brainstorming sessions from McKinney, two “stellar” ideas rose to the top, much like shit floats in the toilet.

    The first, pitched by an annoying drama-queen copywriter with aspirations of mediocrity, revolved around Subway’s sandwiches getting some kind of makeover on a reality talk show. The host is a sandwich. The audience is a sandwich.

    Oh God. Shoot me now.

    The insipid script was the last nail in that idea’s coffin, with puerile lines like:

    “Welcome back to let’s fix breakfast. Today we’re going to make over Jenny’s breakfast. Here’s what Jenny used to eat…”

    and (prepare for a douche chill moment)

    “Are you ready to see what Jenny’s breakfast looks like now?! GIRL, you are lookin’ flavorized.”

    At this point I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. But I was too busy laughing.

    The second idea wasn’t an idea at all. The creative team found a video online of some cretin called MacLethal (arghhh) who got 9 million views for rapping about breakfast.

    Flash of genius follows – “Hey, he got 9 million views. He’s rapping about breakfast. Young people love rapping. They love breakfast. He’s already popular. HOME RUN!”

    Yeah, right.

    Then, they let this chunky Eminem wannabe write the whole song, presumably while they sit and sweat in a corner of the office as they realize one devastating fact: the whole idea was a loser from the beginning, but they sold the fucking thing in.

    WDCW, on the other hand, were very different.

    They hit on an idea that had legs. In fact, the legs had legs. The basic idea was that we’re all brain-dead zombies in the morning, especially the target audience. As a former 20-year old college student who rarely saw 11am, I know just what they mean.

    So, they coined the phrase “zAMbies” and came up with some nice work to go with it. Great images of drooling teens with half-eaten McMuffins hanging out of their gormless mouths. There were some fun, irreverent lines aimed at those morons:

    No be zAMbie
    Eat this. No feel bad.

    And scripts that had some real fun.

    “LOOK, talking words.
    You breakfast zambie?
    You no think about where go breakfast?
    Just grab brown circle food because fast?
    Stop do.
    Go Subway.
    No be zambie!”

    The usual rounds of changes were made internally, then they all hopped on a plane to face the firing squad at Subway.

    To say the presentation by McKinney started badly is being kind. It was clear the stupid “Let’s fix breakfast” ideas was falling flat. Nice line, but rotten execution. The crickets and tumbleweeds in the pitch room confirmed my feelings that this was possibly one of the worst ideas in the history of shitty ideas. Subway’s marketing bores couldn’t crack a smile.

    Then they brought out the rapping “idea” and it went down well. Not great, but well. Of course, it didn’t hurt that they filmed it in a Subway restaurant. Gotta get the client’s product in. They also brought MacLethal in to do a live freestyle rap. I fastforwarded that part, my brain was hurting.

    WDCW went second, with their one solid idea. It killed. Killed. The Subway crowd loved it. And making these hollow vessels laugh is beyond tricky.

    The pitch was in the bag for Tracy Wong.

    That was until one stereotypical client bitch pipes up about there not being enough product shots in the work. My heart sank. I knew it was all over. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. That small seed of doubt becomes a giant beanstalk of failure.

    What followed next, we won’t really know. The hours of debate, butchering ideas and shitting on work, was not shown in the episode. All we saw was Subway’s Mr. Fatman announcing to McKinney that their shitty idea (which was basically “let’s re-do this YouTube video”) had won. They had the account, WDCW’s risk-taking and originality was rewarded with a trip home empty handed.

    A crying fucking shame.

    And that, ladies and gentleman, is what is so teeth-grindingly annoying about this show. It builds you up and drops you on your ass. And it shows, once again, that clients don’t want what they ask for. They think they want brave, but they don’t. They think they want original, but not even close. They want “safe with a new twist.” I mean seriously, a guy rapping about breakfast? That’s about as cool as those 80s Wendy’s training videos.

    What’s even more ironic is that the chubby marketing guy called out WDCW for their former work on Quizno’s, using singing cats. That was, in effect, something “inspired” by online content. I wasn’t keen on it to be honest. But WDCW clearly took that to heart and went completely original. Then Subway hands the account to the dimwits from NC who do exactly the same thing – borrowing from pop culture.

    Infuriating.

    Will I be watching The Pitch again? Yes. Because I’m a real fucking glutton for punishment, and although I know the best work has no chance of winning, I dare to dream that in one of the episodes, justice will be done.

    Tracy Wong and team, if you’re reading this, you clearly deserved the win. The online poll they’re doing at AMC also shows a vast majority of people thought you should have won, too. Take heart in that.

    McKinney, you lucky fucks, please think about how you can turn your winning turd into something that doesn’t suck.

    And Subway. You don’t deserve a good ad agency. You deserve Jared.

    Felix is a site contributor, ranter and curmudgeon for The Denver Egotist. He’s been in the ad game a long time, but he’s still young enough to know he doesn’t know everything. He's been known, on occasion, to drink alcohol by the gallon. Do as he says, not as he does.

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  • BDW | SXSW 2012 Recap

    March 21st, 2012 / Comments (2)

    Among the thousands who made the mecca to SXSW this year, so too did the grad students from Boulder Digital Works. Here's how they felt when they returned.

    SXSW has turned into a marketing shit show — full of distractions and gimmicks to get you to use, try, or buy a product enough so they can claim to be the “breakout success” of SX. Well, I didn’t see any of those this time around. To me the emerging phenomenon is a cultural one — our steady shift into the Sharing Economy, a place where access trumps ownership.

    I had the fortune of a front row seat in a panel titled “The AirBnB of Everything: The Growth of P2P Markets,” which went quickly from introductions to a full break down of how to build a P2P marketplace. That’s because the always-energetic ‘Start Up’ crowd had packed the room and we were eager to get a hold of any and all insight into what makes P2P markets click. This market is poised for success because it empowers the consumer, merges seamlessly with your online social presence, and helps build community. It’s not changing what you consume, it’s changing how you consume, and that’s pretty powerful.

    -Erik Dreyer, @erikatlarge

    What I took away from my sophomore SXSW:
    1. Three free pairs of sunglasses
    2. Respect for two rooted brands stealing spotlights (i.e. American Express + Nike)
    3. Pleasant reminders that industry idols are occasionally humble humans
    4. Newfound fondness for David Carr
    5. General panel disenchantment
    6. Tempered FOMO

    What it demanded in return:
    1. My non-free sunglasses
    2. My American Express

    -Steve Dolan, @stvdln

    Every choir enjoys a good preaching to, and for this digital advocate, Robbie Whiting’s session ‘We Made This, and It’s Not an Ad’ was a forceful affirmation of the need for a smarter, geekier approach to advertising.

    Whiting’s presentation showcased exciting examples of what occurs at the crossroads of advertising and product development – when ad agencies become production houses. Perhaps most enlightening, however, was not the work from some of the most progressive agencies around, but rather, the enthusiastic responses and interesting questions from audience members not previously in the “choir.”

    -James Quon, @jumboinc

    SXSW was an incredible experience: the panels and speakers were interesting and inspiring, the mixers and parties were jovial and exciting, and the food was delicious and addicting.

    The city of Austin, TX was awesome, especially once the weather cleared up, and those Texans showed me great hospitality, kindness, and warmth. THANK YOU!

    -Kit Hennessey, @kithennessey

    In Austin, I was spit out of an airplane expecting the unexpected. As I tumbled down the rabbit hole, soaking wet at the beginning (it rained a lot), I was bombarded with introductions to the "new" trends, all suffixed with "ify" and "ly."

    If I wasn't witnessing Kobiachi break the world record in eating grilled cheese, I was stumbling into conversations with some of my favorite people in the industry, or admiring the homeless who were swimming in the flood of free food and clothes. My SXSW takeaway was learning more about the numerous players in the tech game, despite their poor presentation skills.

    -Benton Rochester, @im_Benton

    There have been few times in my life where I have been surrounded with consistently excellent content provided by equally excellent speakers. However, there have been even fewer times in my life that I have been defeated by bars. SXSW provided me with those opportunities not just a few times, but everyday, and unfortunately for my liver, every night.

    At SXSW Interactive there were too many open discussions, too many open bars, and too many networking opportunities. But hey, those are my favorite kind of problems.

    Regarding next year’s SXSW, I must quote a greater man and simply say, "I'll be back."

    -Kevin Zengel, @kevinzengel

    With everyone vying for attention, your idea has to be truly unique, original and practical for it to stand a chance. No matter who you are or how loud you speak, only the great ideas stand a chance once SXSW is over.

    -Dan Nelson, @danimalnelson

    As a first timer this year at SXSW I am 110% positive I’ll be back next year. Never before have I been to a place where so many people were eager and open to talking about who they are and what kind of work they’re doing. I didn’t attend a single panel, but instead, traveled around the city going to coffee shops, lunches, and parties interacting and making connections.

    Some of the individuals I had the opportunity of meeting work at Modus Operandi, B-Reel, TAXI, Bitorrent, Short List, W+K, and AKQA. Having the advantage of personally knowing the people you’re sending your resume to when your looking for a career can go a long way.

    -Matt O'Donnell, @odog

    I arrived in Austin, Texas not knowing what to expect. Having spoken to many SXSW veterans I was prepared for a week of mingling, drinking, and panels, and that's exactly what I got. Overall, the experience was like non-other. I met with people in all strata of the digital world and ate and drank like a king.

    I would describe the event as a congruence of people interested in many of the same things, looking to the future of media, and out to have a good time. 2012 will definitely not be my last visit to SXSW.

    -Lee Riley, @leerileydesigns

    As a result of my love for all things involving both digital and physical realms, I absolutely loved the Frog kickoff party. They were using Arduino and Flash to connect two Lightcycles to screens for each player and a larger screen for the audience to view. While that was my favorite event, they also had life-size robot boxing powered by Xbox Kinect.

    Being an avid gamer and never having the opportunity to enjoy any sort of conference or convention, ScreenBurn was a lot of fun for me. I was able to check out around 10 video games - give or take - that have not yet been released. I was also able to demo a $7,000 PC gaming setup with 3 monitors covering my entire peripheral. I even picked up some killer art.

    -Micheal Ladt, @MichaelLadt

    The sound bite from my six-day stay came as I nestled into my seat in the middle row on my flight home. I glanced out the window, then to the woman’s computer perched on the tray table beside me. On the screen was a quote: Stop trying to create the next Twitter and start becoming the first you.

    As a SXSW first-timer, I was wowed by the incredible amount of brainpower camping out around Austin. New apps like Highlight, Vibop 2.0, and Maaii mean smart peeps somewhere are putting their heads together to build useful platforms.

    The icing on the cake, though, was the Jane McGonigals, whose creation SuperBetter uses science and gamification to help folks heal from a variety of psychological and physiological ailments. Or, the Al Gores and Sean Parkers, encouraging crowds to employ technology to “OccupyDemocracy.” Or, the Amber Cases, working to ensure technology becomes invisible and serves humanity (and not the other way around).

    Ultimately, smart people don’t just make apps. They make a difference.

    -Dave Laskarzewski, @70percentcool

    Baratunde Thurston, Director of Digital for The Onion, hilariously discussed the role of technology and satire in transforming the world around us. Programs like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report – though they appear playful on the surface – effectively use comedy to cut directly to the emotional core of very non-comedic issues. And it’s not just in the U.S. that people are using satire to address political and social issues. Thanks to the growing accessibility of technology around the globe, independent political satire programs in highly censored countries such as China, Nigeria and Venezuela have become increasingly popular online. In the end, Thurston said, “change is constant.” So, when government institutions and corporations fail to lead sensibly, it’s these “sacred clowns” that remain.

    -Nathan Igdaloff, @igdaloff

    Despite Pinterest taking the award for "Breakout Digital Trend," it kept a relatively low profile at this year's SXSWi. No Pinterest flash mob. No Pinterest shot girls. No free grilled cheese sandwiches with the Pinterest logo emblazoned upon the bread. The one widely publicized Pinterest event — an interview with co-founder and CEO Ben Silbermann — was actually a late edition to the jam-packed schedule of speakers and events.

    Since our startup is chomping at the bit for Pinterest to release their much-awaited API, you can bet I was first in line. Not literally — I barely got a seat. Of all the talks I sat (sometimes slept) through, this one was by far the most attended. And I knew I was sitting amongst eager ears — entrepreneurs like myself waiting to capitalize on this new social phenomenon.

    -Lindsey Jones, @lindseyejones

    A perfect example of the random wonderfulness that is SXSW occurred on an overcast afternoon in the GroupMe tent across from the convention center. By downloading the GroupMe app in person or showing that you had it downloaded on your phone, one was allowed access to free grilled cheese and beer until supplies ran out. Fantastic.

    The afternoon took a turn for the incredible when we were informed that Takeru Kobayashi, an international competitive eating champion, would be attempting a grilled cheese challenge no less than 5 feet from where we were standing. Moments later we stood cheering in disbelief as 13 grilled cheese sandwiches disappeared in 60 seconds and a new world record was set. Photos and videos from the event could not be shared fast enough via text, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and whatever else we could think of.

    Was the event inspirational? Possibly for some. Life-changing? No. Adrenaline-pumping? Surely. Memorable? Absolutely.

    -Michael Lanning, @mrlanning

    I wonder if I've missed the boat on SXSW. Don't get me wrong, it’s a blast, but the parasites of tech are starting to swarm. This alcohol-fueled party felt more like a swag fest than progressive endeavor.

    The panels were interesting, but I couldn't help but feel I'd gain more by checking my Google Reader, so I could actually have a chance to reflect on perspectives rather than being immediately distracted by free gear.

    -Davis Godbout, @dmgodbout

    I may have a slight obsession with food, travel, and the show The Layover. But that isn't the reason why Anthony Bourdain's talk got me going. Tony and his TV crew spoke about how they utilize Twitter, Facebook and blogs to communicate to their followers. The message I took away was that not everything needs to be so sensored. They swear and put up drunk tweets - nothing is really off limits when it comes to social media. And even if your company is a little more reserved, you can still have fun with it, just keep in mind who your audience is. The more exciting you are, the more response you will get from your followers, which builds a stronger loyalty around your brand.

    -Kiley Story, @kileystory

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  • Shingy Hits Denver. Karsh Hagan Idea Series Part I.

    February 27th, 2012 / Comments (11)

    When you read about what CMO’s want, or you talk to clients about what they want, or even just talk to your team around the office, you soon discover that we all want the same thing–ideas. And we all know by now that ideas don’t appear automagically when requested. AdAge calls today’s marketplace the Relationship Era while some are still stuck calling it the digital era. Eras aside, nothing has changed about the power of a truly great idea. To stoke and inspire some new ones (and get around the “I don’t have enough time to think” lament) Karsh Hagan kicked off the Idea Series last Thursday 2.23.12 at the Denver Art Museum to underscore not only our commitment to ideas but the reality that you have to consciously curate time to feed the process of discovering them.

    We invited a speaker named David Shing, AOL’s Digital Prophet.

    Sidebar:
    (Q) Can anyone live up to that job title?
    (A) Prophet=Inspired teacher, proclaimer. And he was, but not an in-your-face-brash version. Instead he was more of a thoughtful here’s-what-I’ve-seen-what-do-you-think-?-way. Wicked cool. His energy was kinetic and his interest in who we were and our clients was genuine. We heart Shingy and now count him as a friend of KH.

    (Q) AOL?
    (A) We salute the image-pivot they’re in the middle of and he did address it. Content is a good play these days and they’re in the middle of it.

    While everyone undoubtedly left with something different (there was more than enough topics covered) what I took away was a bit meta–but hey, that’s my job. With massive fragmentation taking place and people’s lives becoming more connected, yet disconnected, the ability to create brands and campaigns that have interconnected bridges built-in to enable seamless consumer experiences is the epitome of mission critical.

    The misstep on that mission, however, tends to surface as an infatuation with likes and clicks and a singular idea or creative look blasted across media vehicles. Instead, the truth serum we have to take reveals that experiences aren’t that simple and who cares whether they’re “digital” or “traditional”? (I predict, sometimes plead, that we stop delineating something that most consumers don’t anymore.)

    They just have to work. They have to answer the consumer’s question, provide the right utility, a smile, an opportunity, a way to be remembered in consumer’s hectic, frenzied lives. It takes a diversified team (Agency and Client) committed to ideas and gutsy enough to say “yes” to the big ideas, the new experiences to succeed. Creating an experience is far more nuanced and layered than creating an ad. Great experiences along the path to purchase are like leaving tasty bread crumbs that can be found and shared when someone is ready to make a purchase and tell someone about it. It takes a commitment to great experiences + great media + data to make that happen, and oh yeah, it takes guts, intuition and trust in each other to pull it off.

    So here’s to nurturing, and fighting for, great ideas that are expressed in dynamic and powerful ways that make our jobs amazing, exciting and fulfilling.

    Ideas Series Part II? TBA…

    Post by: Rachael Donaldson, VP Account Strategy @MrktFrsh

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  • How To Outrun The Inevitable - Robert Campbell

    February 18th, 2012 / Comments (3)

    There are a lot of agencies out there.

    In China alone, there’s said to be tens of thousands.

    TENS OF THOUSANDS!!!

    However amongst all those – not in China, but generally – there’s a few that have a ‘global’ name.

    Traditionally, they fall into 2 camps:

    Those who are living off their legacy and those creating it.

    Yes, that’s harsh – and there’s a whole host of reasons for it – but that’s pretty much how it feels.

    Of course, these two states are in a constant state of motion … one good campaign can lift an agency from the past to the present and vice versa … however the agencies that tend to have the greatest momentum are the ones that seemingly are continuously creating their legacy rather than riding on their past.

    Now in no way am I suggesting an agency purposefully ‘takes a back seat’ – there are many reasons why that can happen – however the point of this post is that as much as there are many agencies out there who are grabbing a bunch of the headlines right now, there’s 2 that are seemingly always at the forefront of commercial creativity.

    BBH and W+K

    Now without doubt there are some fundamental differences between the 2 companies – some good, some not so good – however the thing I find fascinating are their commonalities, of which a number of them, I believe, have directly enabled them to succeed while others have fallen.

    I should point out that what I’m about to write is my perception.

    The fact is I’ve never worked at BBH and while I know many of the guys there very well – I am still basing my views on observation and here-say.

    And as for W+K. Well while I have had the pleasure of meeting Dan and his senior management team, we’ve not really talked about this sort of thing … most of the time I’m getting bollocked for something.

    But that aside, here are 5 things that have made these agencies so creatively influential for so long.

    1. Consistent Management.

    The guys who run both these agencies have been at these agencies a long time.

    Better yet, they are the people who founded these agencies – so they have a vested interest in maintaining the culture of the place rather than just go after the profit, regardless of the implication.

    That said, they are constantly introducing new people into positions of influence and power.

    Younger people. Talented people.

    People who bring new perspectives and thinking to the table so while the principals of the company will stay the same, the expression of it is at the forefront of the times.

    2. Control, Not Controlled.

    In short, when you own your company rather than a holding company with masses of shareholders, you can control how your company grows and where your company goes.

    Basically, control means you can focus on the longer-term, bigger play rather than purely focusing on hitting the next quarterly target.

    It’s probably the best ad for communism you could have, ha.

    3. A Willingness To Fail.

    Both agencies try stuff.

    Better yet, the want to try stuff.

    There is a reluctance to rest on their laurels.

    This isn’t just because they believe to stick with what you know is the surest way to future failure, but because they are adventurous by nature and they believe great things happen from experimentation, even if on first impressions, the result is not quite what they hoped.

    They also put their money where their mouth is.

    They don’t expect clients to fund their adventures into the unknown, they’ll pay for it … be it in the activities they do or the people they hire.

    For both, failure is NOT trying stuff.

    4. Culture, Not Function

    When I first joined W+K, people talked about it’s unique culture.

    To be honest, I’ve heard this sort of thing before and almost always it’s turned into a crock of shit … because the culture that was there was because of the people in the place rather than the company.

    But in W+K and BBH’s case, I believe it’s true.

    Sure, the people that work there enhance and develop that culture, but there’s a strong philosophical view that permeates every element of both companies.

    It’s not about the press releases or the credentials deck … it’s about their standards … their expectations … their beliefs.

    They actively encourage trying new things … exploring new approaches … not going for the lowest-common-denominator or the category convention … standing up for what they believe in …

    In short, it’s about filling their company with interesting and creative people who share their beliefs [even if they express it in radically different ways], rather than simply those who can perform a specific job function at the lowest price.

    5. Involvement, Not Observation.

    Northern wrote a blog post recently where he said he was convinced the reason older, senior people lose their dynamism and originality is because no one challenges them and they don’t get in enough situations to be told something they don’t know.

    Very true.

    However one thing I really like about W+K is that while the senior guys are ridiculously talented and smart and experienced … they welcome opinion, debate and challenge. From everyone. Literally everyone.

    I remember the first time I met Dan and John and had an ‘out of body experience’ where I saw myself telling, arguably 2 of the most respected ad guys in history a bunch of stuff I think we should be doing.

    OK, so Dan said, “you’re fired” … but he listened and that’s more than many would do.

    The other thing is they are all deeply involved in what’s going on.

    Not in the sense of dictating outcomes or decisions, but being part of the chaos – contributing, listening, exploring.

    Sure that doesn’t happen on every single piece of business on every single campaign, but you’d be amazed how knowledgable about what’s going on. Seriously, you just need 2 minutes in the company of Dan or John or Dave etc and you know that they are absolutely bursting with dynamism and originality, even though by the protocol adopted by many agencies, they should be put out to pasture by now.

    Why are they like this?

    Because they still care. I honestly think it’s that simple.

    They still want to learn. They still want to do stuff. They still want to push boundaries.

    It’s fantastic and I honestly believe that one of the reasons this is the case is because they seek out people they regard as talented and interesting … people who can push them … their colleagues … their clients … and their agency to a different place.

    Not being scared of change or youth or provocation shows people who are very confident with who they are … which for all the ego and posturing that goes on in this industry, is very rare indeed.

    Of course you might think this is all bollocks … and maybe it is, however I can tell you from my time at W+K and my relationship with BBH that I see all this time and time again.

    Sure it’s not always perfect, sure there have been some bad mistakes – but that aside – the fact they have been at the forefront of mass market commercial creativity means they must be doing something right … something few other companies have been able to pull off over 30 odd years which is why I honestly believe these are things we could all benefit from following or learning – whether we work in a company or want to start our own.

    Making money is not hard.

    Being the creative industry darling for a moment in time, is not out of the reach for all.

    However making money while sticking to your principals and being an acknowledged leader in [effective] creativity for 3 decades is, and that’s why W+K and BBH stand out from the crowd.

    While both agencies shun propriety processes in favour of being judged by what they do [rather than what they say they do] … the reality is you can’t ignore how their principals, philosophies and approach have directly contributed and impacted to the work that so many of us [general public, not just adland] hold in the highest esteem.

    Saying “it’s all about the work”, might make a nice headline that people can gravitate to, but a great creative legacy starts way before the brief lands on the table.

    ----------

    By Robert Campbell, W+K's Asia Regional Head of Planning. Reposted with permission. Read the original blog post here (and don't miss the delicious comments.)

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  • Unwarranted Conjecture: Where's the Hoopla?

    February 13th, 2012 / Comments (13)

    It’s 10 PM. You’re at home on the couch, staring at a brief that’s as inspiring as a sack of dirt clods. You sigh and stare down the white bull that is your blank Word doc. Grasping for a shard of illumination, you pull out Crispin’s retrospective tome, ‘Hoopla’. It reads like a compendium of new millennium advertising. Each page sparkles like a semi-precious gem.

    A garter-clad chicken-man subserviently awaits your every whim (minus dick stuff). A dwarfish British motorcar challenges your preconceptions with iconoclastic urgency and hipster idealism. A mute king sidles up beside you with the gift of flame broil and vague threat.

    This is the stuff, you think. This is the kind of irreverent, post-post-modern advertising that transcends the usual Carl’s Jr.-y dreck. Why regurgitate pop culture when you can create it?

    Suddenly, you’re inspired. You’re in the zone. You’re conceiving new worlds: A Tourettic fan boat captain. A country-clutter cutter. A webisode called “Ginger Beard House.”

    Next level stuff.

    Just then the TV seizures and chirps with cheap synths and fluorescent flashing, snapping you out of your revelry. It’s a spot for Old Navy – a Crispin campaign you’re vaguely aware of, but now regard with laser pen precision. A Kim Kardashian clone vapidly sings about her “Super C-U-T-E” jeans while prancing from one choreographed scene to another, instantly darkening your mood.

    Is there a wink to it? Is it meant to be ironic? No. It’s simply the worst of pop culture distilled down to 30 seconds of bubbly saccharine sludge. Ever a glutton for punishment, you turn to Youtube to dredge up some more Old Navy bile. Bad move.

    This time a group of gal pals are at bowling alley singing “Only in My Jeans” to the tune of Debbie Gibson’s “Only In My Dreams.” Your eyes twitch.

    In the next one, another group of girls sing “I’m Wearing a New Blouse” to the tune of Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.” Your serotonin ebbs.

    Next, Bootsy Collins churns out boots in a Funnovations factory, because – as the people of Crispin are fully aware – puns are the pinnacle of comedy.

    And, finally, with the onset of “Don’t Jiggle It When You Wiggle It,” you close your laptop in soul-crushing defeat.

    Contemptuous and a little dumber, you wonder what machinations are responsible for such an abomination? Surely, there must be an explanation. So you hit the bottle and devise a few theories.

    Theory 1: Metal Machine Music

    In 1975, Lou Reed released “Metal Machine Music,” arguably the most unlistenable album since the advent of the phonograph. Devoid of melody and rhythm, it’s comprised entirely of over-modulated guitar feedback – like an autistic Yngwie Malmsteen playing a chainsaw. The justification for the album remains a mystery, but you speculate that it was as a calculated backlash to the sycophantic reverence that was thrust upon the Velvet Underground during the 60s. Such rarified air can contaminate. Whether it’s delusions of grandeur or self-sabotaging hubris, Lou’s story was not unlike Crispin’s – that of a meteoric rise and tragic fall (an arc favored by films featuring blow and/or Marky Mark dong).

    Theory 2: The Mentos Method

    Mentos ads were an ugly anomaly. The weirdly foreign, hobo-cheap ads featured an absurd array of life-altering candy consumption that made us collectively shudder. But like depression-era circus pinheads, a freakish spectacle attracts a crowd. Consider Rick Astley’s ghastly resurgence, or those two girls and that cup, or Carrot Top’s physique (which, incidentally, can be attributed to his Napoleon Complex that was brought on by his roundly ridiculed androgynous-prop-comedy-ginger-clowning).

    But you digress.

    You have a hard time believing that Crispin has succumbed to the Chinese model of churning out cheap plastic crap, but the Schadenfreude side of you kind of hopes so.

    Theory 3: Bogusky’s Exodus

    With a creative vision not seen since Lee Clow (and bangs that could shame Kevin Sorbo), Alex Bogusky wasn’t just Crispin’s creative leader, he was the Adonis of Hawking Wares. The Swayze of karate-guy bouncers (and/or ghost pottery).

    And, lo, like Icarus (another ego-drunk demigod), Alex flew too close to the sun. In a desperate effort to rediscover his life’s purpose, he abandoned his agency and retreated to a cabin in the woods, like a handsome Thoreau or a tenor Bon Iver.

    Resigned to grumpy old men status, Sam Crispin and Chuck Porter fell victim to stereotype. Their fleeting attention spans were focused more on the Floridian shuffleboard/smorgasbord circuit than irreverent computer-y advertising. Sadly, their heir apparent, Andrew Keller, dropped the baton in favor of his crimper. And thus the soul of the Crispin machine was vanquished. Not even Ted McGinley could save this sinking ship.

    Whatever the reason for the agency’s creative demise (or hiccup), one thing is clear: If ‘Hoopla’ is the Gospel According to Crispin, then the latest chapter is the ‘Book of Mormon’ – a preposterous sequel in which Jesus Bootsy appears in America to pander to ignorant savages tweens.

    ----------

    Chris Elzinga is a freelance copywriter in San Francisco. He is also the founding father of Prudism and Gimpressionism.

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  • Time Out

    February 9th, 2012 / Comments (5)

    Every day we see on the news how our economy, our country, and our species, globally, is slipping.

    We think globally and act locally. We adopt charities in Africa. We occupy Wall Street. We lift up the common man, worry for the middle and lower classes. And above all, we love resenting, and hating, the rich.

    Then we rush together for the Super Bowl to celebrate the most ostentatious display of wealth, insensitivity and celebrity idolatry imaginable.

    To me, the most glaring contradiction is nothing new to sports and media, just more obnoxious in these times -- having a major car manufacturer give a brand new sports car to the multimillionaire who was just crowned a bigger multi-millionaire. While Detroit is running commercials during the same game that acknowledges, in words and pictures, the Super Real World of joblessness, foreclosures and suffering families in fallen cities, they follow up by giving a brand new sports car to the least needy person in the world. And we scream and cheer. (What?) Even Eli didn't care. Did you hear in the audio track, "Oh Eli, wait! You might want the keys!" Guess how many families could use the car Eli already forgot he had?

    But this year's crowning irony were the two words at the end of Madonna's millenia-spanning spend-a-thon of enormous casts of dancers, soldiers, and cheerleaders jumping across moving sets of chariots, grandstands and marching Roman armies, navigating multiple stage transformations and the additional counter-celebrity who joined her. At the end, they present the phrase, "World Peace." (WHAT?)

    If the Super Bowl was just the yearly ritual of rabid football fans who were loyal, captivated students of the games, I would have no problem with deserving football junkies spending whatever they want to express a love of the game, their passion, the moment.

    But it's not a football event, it's a yearly American reaffirmation that no matter what we say in our self-righteous blogs, our political discussions, and twitter feeds to CNN, we really do love our celebrities, we do love that they are rich, we love mega-productions of epic scale, and we all secretly feel that if we raise a beer to the screen and scream that one day a year, even if we don't know a touchdown from a home run, we count too; I am a part of this bombastic show too; I am in the midstream of what matters most today; I'm part of what my world is obsessing about right now. I can always return to my more-aware, more sophisticated, more critical self tomorrow, and remember that I hate suffering, and therefore the evil money empires that enable it.

    But first, I want to find out how they got those monkeys into those suits! That was awesome!

    ---
    Tom Townsend is co-founder and Chief Creative Officer of Rodgers Townsend, a DDB Company located in St. Louis. Previously, he was Senior Vice President/Group Creative Director at DMB&B.

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  • Getting the Most Out of Your Internship

    January 31st, 2012 / Comments (4)

    Giving students a jump-start to their career, college programs provide many aspiring creatives an opportunity to get some real-life experience through an ad agency internship. This is when young creatives learn fast that working in the biz is nothing like the textbook or bubble test said. It's actually much more interesting and fun. But knowing what it takes to make the leap from unpaid (or poorly paid) volunteer to a junior level employee who earns a paycheck starts by knowing what to soak up during that two-three month adventure.

    Here are the seven things I think are most important for interns learn:

    1. If You Don't Ask, No One Will Help You. 
    Not the last thing a creative will do, but low on the list is checking on an intern. Many professional creatives are wrapped up in their own world of "make the logo bigger" crises. Don't be afraid to bug someone or ask them to get coffee, lunch or an after-work beer just to talk shop. They'll probably welcome the break. The result is that creative pro will label you as a driven individual. Should a higher-up ask about you, he/she will now have something positive to say. During your chat, put your ideas on the chopping block, ask "why" and milk his or her mind for all it's worth.

    2. Go To Meetings That Have Nothing To Do With You.
    Meetings ... boring, yes. Valuable for an intern, definitely. You'll pick up lingo and understand the DNA of the agency. You'll also discover why certain people are stressed and why so many agency workers drink moderate to heavily. There will be presentation documents, creative briefs, short brainstorms and client feedback. These are all things you'll never see in a classroom setting.

    3. Your A+ Thesis Paper Has Nothing To Do With Creative Copywriting.
    My first creative director told me: "Clients don't pay you to write or for me to design. They pay us for our minds." It's true. Think about it this way: everyone thinks they can write and/or design (until they actually have to). But thinking creatively on a highly strategic level is a skill few possess. It's what separates us from our clients and their brand team - we are their brand's thought leaders. It's not about writing a clever headline with a pretty photo, rather it's about writing a clever headline and designing an ad that meets six brand objectives while still clearly communicating to a human being. Forget writing essays and designing your cousin's band poster, the creative side of the biz is based on intelligently communicating with people in creative ways. Learn that or at least show a spark, and you'll be valuable.

    4. Jump In On A Pitch.
    Many ad students get to participate in the AAF competition through "Campaigns" class. They have four months to come up with a large creative presentation for a national client, where they'll compete against other college student teams. In the agency world, that same process happens in about 10-14 days (sometimes less) instead of 120 days. You're guaranteed to hear the word "RFP" (request for proposal) while interning. When you do, do what you can to get involved. Even if it's just gathering photos, proofing or binding. Pay attention to how the team brainstorms. Study how the copywriter writes up the ideas to be sold. How the art directors design comps to communicate the idea. Figure out why the creative director and account director wanted it in certain order. It may not be a flawless process and final product. But this is your chance to finally see how the sausage is made. "Just Do It" wasn't sold as just a clever line - the agency went through a pitch process, creating a strategic deck book that made the idea of that famous line shine.

    5. Keep Building Your Book, Even If It's Not "Real" Work.
    In some situations, it can be difficult as an intern to truly own a project. If you have that chance, save every PDF and file, and make it the showpiece of your book. Unfortunately for many, you'll dabble here and there, but may feel uncomfortable claiming a finished piece as your own. Don't let that stop you -- now that you understand a brand better than ever, go ahead and design your own campaign. Show what you can do with total creative control. Have a reason for everything you do and say in the campaign. In your upcoming interviews, creative directors are going to be looking to see that you can think and execute creatively and strategically. The ad doesn't have to be printed in Time Magazine. Good creative is good creative.

    6. Be Digital Or Be Left Behind.
    You know the vehicles: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. Now get active and learn everything you can about them. Pay attention to what brands and marketers are doing with them. Connect with others in the industry through it. Know how to talk about social media in simple terms. Need practice? Try explaining Twitter to your grandparents or crazy uncle. While interning, ask if you can participate in speaking for the agency through their social media channels. Contribute to the agency blog. Be seen, be heard and know what you're talking about.

    7. Be A Writer Or Designer. Never Both.
    If you say you can do it all, no one will believe you. If you really can excel at both writing and designing, more power to you. But for most, it's crucial to pick one path and become as great as you can be at it. Creative directors and agency heads want to know that you're "our writer guy" or "our design gal." Don't get me wrong, having cross-over skills is great -- just don't sell yourself as such. At least until you reach the level of Creative Director.

    With the ultimate goal is landing that first job shortly after the internship, remember the process is all about luck, timing, skills, your book, drive, resiliency and intangibles... plus a bunch of other things.

    Good luck and let me know what you think. Like the Dude says, everything in this post is just, like my opinion, man.

    ---

    Eammon is a copywriter who's worked over eleven years in the ad agency business. He's won a few ADDYs, judged a few shows and worked on a variety of national clients. Find out all about him on his LinkedIn profile and feel free to follow him on Twitter.

    Linkedin link:
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/eammonazizi

    Twitter link:
    www.twitter.com/eammon

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