New Year. New Site. New Rant. New Felix?

Last night I sat in my favorite old armchair, put on my smoking jacket (I don’t smoke, oh the irony) and poured myself a glass of Glenmorangie Single Malt. There’s nothing quite like sipping on a fine whisky as you’re flicking, metaphorically speaking, through the pages of your old articles. And then I noticed something of a pattern.

Did I spend 2009 being a vile and viscous hater, spewing acidic venom on anyone and anything that caught my bloodshot eye?

Yes. No question.

Did I take every opportunity to be a complete bastard, even when responding to comments?

Guilty.

Did I choose negative rants over positive rants nine out of ten times?

Absolutely.

And this got me thinking. Maybe the 2009 Felix with no sympathy and sledgehammer comments should give way to a softer, more understanding 2010 Felix.

A guy who embraces the good, and turns every down into an up. Because, after all, every down is just an up waiting to happen.

And strangers, well, they’re just friends I don’t know yet.

Then I thought, fuck it, why the hell should I change just because we’ve got a new site and it’s a new year? If anything, I should take this opportunity to be a bigger critic than I was last year.

Why?

Take the Chipotle debacle (something we called Cheapotle for obvious reasons). Last year Butler, Shine & Stern almost destroyed a fine brand with the work they spewed out. I know, it takes two to tango, and no doubt the fine folks at Chipotle had a hand in it. But that’s no excuse on the part of BS&S. Chipotle clearly wanted to put their hat in the “value menu” ring, and also wanted to offer more choices and healthier choices. But you still need to offer work that doesn’t shaft the client’s brand.

Personally, I think the whole idea dilutes what makes Chipotle such a great brand. No apologies. These are big fuck-off burritos, they taste fantastic and, yes, they happen to be about 1,000 calories each.

So what? Have one of these bad boys for lunch, eat a salad for dinner. Problem solved.

But to completely dump the established brand and tone of voice in favor of something homogeneous and pedestrian, that really got to me. As a Chipotle lover for many years, I couldn’t stay quiet. The Egotist couldn’t stay quiet. And Cheapotle was born.

Now, I know it wasn’t exactly a big deal. But it did get some coverage from other blogs and new sites. We got people to pay attention. Not in the Tropicana redesign kind of way, but we still got buzz.

And now, Chipotle has parted ways with Butler, Shine & Stern and is bringing everything in house. The big burrito is back on the billboards. The attitude is returning.

Did “The Rant” play any part in that? Who knows. However, I’m happy to take some of the credit for it, even if it’s just a small percentage.

The Rant has a job to do. It’s not an ass-kissing column. It’s not an agony aunt column. It’s a pissing, whining, bitching, moaning column. But it also has a purpose, as twisted as that may sound.

I will continue to point out ways that I think Denver, and everyone else, could continue to do better. The aim of The Denver Egotist is to “Help Denver Suck Less, Daily” and I think The Rant plays a big part in that.

I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to say something that needs to be said. And, yes, I know it’s an anonymous column, but as this is such an incestuous town, you can understand why anonymity has value. At the end of the day, I want what you want. I want people to look at Denver as an oasis of creativity that lies between New York and L.A.

We can do this. We may need some tough love and a giant kick in the ass to get there, but nothing worthwhile is easy. And you don’t have to read this column anyway.

So, for what it’s worth, the new Denver Egotist retains the old Felix.

If you don’t like it, “go home and get your fuckin’ shine box.”