Chipotle, What Is That Nasty Taste You Left In My Mouth?

Could it be bitterness? Sarcasm? Scorn? Maybe it's good, old-fashioned animosity. Whatever it is, it's putrid. And coming on the back of a campaign that sucked so much we dedicated a website to it, I have to wonder what it going on over there in the Chipotle marketing department.

As you may recall from the venom that spewed from my mouth, I was not happy that they ditched the big burritos and big statements in favor of weedy statements supporting an even weedier value menu. It was as much of a 180 as any brand could do. To say it sucked would be an insult to things that suck.

After a few months, the ad campaign, loathed by so many, simply disappeared. The ad agency Butler, Shine, Stern & Partners "parted company" from Chipotle. And we were told the work was going to be taken in-house.

That phrase "in-house" leaves most ad professionals shaking in their shoes. Not from fear, but from rage. Not that I'm saying in-house teams produce crappy work, it's more a case of a very different dynamic at work. It's a lot more difficult to get honest opinions out of anyone when you sit in each others' pockets day in, day out. The agency-client dynamic is perverted, to such a point that no one is really sure of the quality of the work any more. It's been through so many corporate mincing machines that the final product is far from exciting. It's dull.

If only the word "dull" could be used to describe the new Chipotle campaign from their in-house team.

What we have here is one of Luke Sullivan's classic "your strategy is showing" moments. But what kind of bizarre, self-centered, whiny strategy is this? Here's how I envisioned a board meeting at Chipotle, based on this new work:

Chris: "Well guys, the last campaign really was awful. We screwed up. Can we admit that?"

[Silence]

Chris: "What I meant to say is that Butler, Shine, Stern and Partners really fucked us over on that last ad campaign."

[Board room erupts in applause]

Chris: "These ad guys, they're all the same. All they care about is the work in their books, looking cool and taking our money."

Intern: "I know I'm only here to bring the coffee, but that work was not exactly book worthy anyway was it?"

Chris: "No one asked you. Now, we need a fresh approach, one that gets us back on track and builds the brand higher and higher..."

Intern: "You mean like all the original work that shops like TDA did?"

Chris: "No, better. But we also need to let everyone out there know that we weren't responsible for that last abortion of a campaign. In fact, BSSP made us do it. (Pre-empts intern) Yes, they did. The value menu was their idea. Changing the look of the brand, all them. They pulled an AK-47 in one meeting and told us to sign the approvals. We did, knowing it would sink our beloved Chipotle brand. BUT NO MORE! We'll bring the work in-house. We'll stand over the creatives and write lines for them, art direct them, and shove the following strategy down their throats – Ad agencies should be blamed for crappy ads, all we want to do is talk about the product. But then, and this is the genius part, we'll manufacture a straw-man ad agency and say they forced us to write some half-assed lines. We'll sneak the real copy in under the demands of the fake agency, because they are all knowing. It will get everyone on our side. Now, where's my damned bonus check?"

See what I mean? Forget that EVERY client has final say over the work that goes out. Forget that. Forget also that EVERY client has to sign off on the brief and the strategy. Or at least, they do when they're playing at this level. Just forget all of that, and instead look at the work now being produced.

Chipotle has brought the work in-house. They have complete control of the campaign. They can say whatever they want. If they really wanted to have an ad all about the cilantro in their rice, they could do it. But they don't! Instead, they manufacture some bullshit ad agency to blame the crappy ad on, in a failed attempt at humor, irreverence and an ungrateful nod back to the campaigns of old. You know, the campaigns that helped Chipotle grow and grow.

I've seen some screwed up ads in my time, but these new ones just floor me. Even if this straw man idea was executed well, who cares?! Who cares about what the ad agencies forced you to do in the past? Sure, ad geeks like us do, but we represent a microscopic percentile of the population. Think my dad is gonna look at a new ad and go "hey, good for them. I'm eating at Chipotle from now on 'cause they're sticking it to the ad man, with their fancy cars and big-titted account execs." No way.

My dad will give a puzzled look and move on. But back in the day, when the ads said "Open Wide. No Wider." next to a big-assed burrito, he knew just what he was getting. A big, tasty, calorie-packed monster of a meal. When we called out the ads from BSSP, we never thought they'd cut off their own nose to spite their face. What a waste.

I can't say enough bad shit about the new campaign. Not only is it poorly thought through and executed, it is another nail in the coffin of advertising. This not only bites the hand the feeds it, it basically says that ad agencies everywhere are more concerned with being 'cool' than doing work that does the job right. WRONG. Good ad agencies thrive when the client thrives. They want to do work that works. Sorry Chipotle, but everyone responsible for this latest sham needs to step down and give the ad agencies out there one last chance to fix what you have all messed up.

It won't be easy. But a decent agency can do it...as long as the people responsible for this mess get out of the damned way. That is all.