The Short, Imagined Monologue of a Jewish Copywriter ‘Writing to Layout’ In InDesign.

dear god. stop.

just stick to Word

that’s how i feel when i’m forced to use a microsoft product

Thanks for the shout out.

I normally don’t comment here, because I generally like to sit back and enjoy the work featured on the Egotist, which is generally very good, but I can’t help myself here, so I’ll just throw this out there: these columns have been total hack jobs from day one.

Sorry, buddy. I’m sure you’re a nice guy or something, but, come on. Maybe the point of these is that they’re supposed to be, to use your grammar, ‘light’ and ‘entertaining,’ but you of all people should know that achieving those qualities often times requires more work than ‘heavy’ or ‘dramatic’ stuff. Doesn’t seem like you put a lot into these things, sorry if I’m wrong there.

By the way, something that bugs me a lot about all of these articles: what does being Jewish have to do with any of it? Seriously. I get that you’re Jewish (so am I) and that what you’re trying to say is that the identity comes with a distinct cultural insecurity, but it’s not coming through in the copy. It’s just annoying.

i love you locke. well said.

Here, fucking, here. I find these neither funny nor relevant. And yes, I’m sure Jordan is a nice guy. But so what? There’s no reason for these self-serving pieces of copy masturbation. Can we put these to bed now, please?

It’s neither right-justify nor left-justify. It’s either justified, or not. The terms you’re confusing it with, are right-aligned or left-aligned. It’s a common mistake.

Also: kerning = spacing between a letter pair. Tracking = spacing along a line. Pretty sure you’re referring to tracking. Also, a common mistake.

Sorry to go all art-director neurotic here but it was bugging the shit out of me.

Whether or not this is amongst your best work Jordan, props for creating something and throwing it to the wolves. (And I thought I was a glutton for punishment.)

I’m a copywriter. You’re an idiot.

Sorry Jordan, have to agree with most of the comments here. This is getting old really fast.

fyi, I’ve got a lot of user names but ‘Locke’ ain’t one of them. Althought I do agree with everything he said. Especially ‘what does being jewish have to do with anything?’

Jews do the best work. Lots of pressure being a Jew.

Somebody should punch you in the face.

Why bring race into this at all? I mean, not that it would make it any funnier, but I don’t get it. What next? The short, imagined dialog of a black art director? Maybe a Chinese Account Director? Sorry Jordan, but these things are hurting you more than helping. Stop before you do any more damage.

Jordan, I’m surprised at all the people that don’t like you. How can they not like you? You never told me you know so many negative, know-it-all-busy-bodies like those you-know-whats down at the synagogue. You’re a good person, Jordan. How can anyone not like you? Now that Patrick fellow, can you get me his address? I’d like to send him a nice honey-vanilla challah or a nice rye. He seems like the only one that has something inside that noggin. Oh vey!

These are awesome. Thanks everyone! I wonder how many times Jim Glynn had someone publicly want to punch him in the face? I’m on my way.

killing them with kindness…but did you just compare yourself to jim glynn?

It’s like Dane Cook crawled down your esophagus, simultaneously masturbated while puking and then you puked that up and managed to find a way to get it onto the www.

This was just plain awful.

Self indulgent and not funny. That doesn’t mean you’re not a nice guy. But come on, who is so lacking in entertainment choices that they would laugh at these things? Or smile? Or even groan? Concentrate on your job, this stuff is lame and contrived.

feh.

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Yes

Well write. I hope, I will sometime see something similar and on the blog

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